You've Believed The Lie For Too Long - Seeing Through The Ego's Tricks

 Each and every one of us has within us a thought that we are separate from our good. It's normal in this world to have some degree of self-loathing. There's an underlying belief that something is not right. About us. There's something that's wrong. None of us are completely free of the idea that there's something wrong with us, that we're flawed.

The ego is a false identity built up around the idea that we're separate from our good, that we're separate from our source, and that we're separate from each other and we're isolated and all alone. It's a disease of the human condition here. It's a mental disease that we're all subject to on some level or another.

You are a wonderful, unique expression of the infinite, but when the ego gets a hold of your wonderful, unique expression of the infinite, it will use that against you and it will turn your wonderful uniqueness into a wonderful, unique problem for each of us. This primal sense of self-hatred has a root thought.

And when you find the bottom line thought, that is the root of your ego. You can start to pluck that out and not be at the effects of your ego as much anymore. Your ego doesn't want you to do that, obviously, so the ego will distract you as much as it can, but you don't need to allow that to happen. You can turn your investigative powers inward and find what that root thought is.

There was a guy named Leonard Orr back in the seventies and eighties who used to call it your personal law. And it's a lie. The ego tells about ourselves, and it always centers around. Something to do with, I'm not good enough, I'm not enough. Some people's thought is that they're bad, that they're evil. I uncovered mine a long time ago, and it's the idea that I hurt people.

I think a lot of that came from possibly my own birth trauma because my birth was so traumatic and both me and my mom almost died, and I think part of me always felt guilty on some level for hurting my mother as much as I did, even though obviously it wasn't my fault. Through a lot of introspection, a lot of therapy, a lot of spiritual work.

I uncovered this belief about myself that I hurt people, and what was interesting about that is that's where a lot of my people pleasing came from. I would go out of my way to be a pacifist. I would go out of my way to acquiesce in so many areas in my life. Just because I didn't want to hurt people and I believed that I did hurt people, so I overcompensated not only so that I wouldn't hurt people, but that I also wouldn't be punished for hurting people.

As I started to understand that my ego didn't have as much power over me anymore because I saw it for what it was, I saw the wizard behind the curtain and it was just a lie. Of course, I don't want to hurt people. Everybody hurts each other on some level. In this world, we bump up against each other. It happens all the time, but I'm nothing special in that regard.

I don't go out of my way to hurt people. I don't desire to hurt people, and when people get hurt by me, it's never intentional. I had to look at my life from a very sensible perspective. I just used common sense to talk myself out of that. But had I not taken the time to investigate this thought, I would've never noticed it was there because it was the lens through which I saw everything.

I saw everything as if somebody was going to potentially be victimized by me. I saw the world through the lens of I have to overcompensate for my tendency to hurt people. And so I never really got to be myself. I never got to shine for the longest time because I was afraid if I shined too brightly that somebody might get burned.

That if I really had what I wanted in life, somebody would have to suffer that. If I really was able to be myself, it would be a threat to everybody around me. So I just stayed very small. I stayed very tucked in. I never wanted to go for it because I was protecting everybody around me. And once I saw that and the ridiculousness of that, that particular belief system started to have cracks.

It didn't happen overnight, but it did start to crack, to shatter, to dismantle. I. Because I was able to understand what I was seeing from a different point of view and had I not investigated it. It's like we say when you wear cologne, you don't notice that you're wearing it after a couple of minutes.

Everybody else can smell it, but you don't 'cause you're accustomed to it. I would never have noticed that. Because it was just so normal for me. I always grew up like that. I, I never coed the idea. I never actually had the mentation in my conscious mind. I don't want to hurt them because the assumption that they were going to get hurt by my very presence was active.

So I never questioned it. It was just there. It was this perfume that was everywhere. Even though my personality wasn't such that I was ever attacking people, I knew that I never was gonna go out and harm people. It was just my very presence was harmful. Just me being alive was dangerous for everybody around me.

There was that dark night of the soul just coming to terms with that belief, just looking at it face to face. But that was an instantaneous sting. Once I saw it and realized that it wasn't true, it stopped having power over me. I did a lot of work to reinforce the understanding that that wasn't true.

When I finally cleaned out that belief system, I was able to really go for it, to feel comfortable in my own skin, just to be around people, and then also go for what I wanted, knowing that it was going to be something that would enliven people, it would help people if I was myself. I wasn't a harm to others just by breathing

all of that to illustrate to you that you have a lie. That is the root of a lot of the problems that you have until you uncover that lie and start to dismantle it. All of your healing efforts are temporary relief of your own existential pain. What we think about habitually in our deep minds is what is expressed on the screen of space, and if we don't investigate our own version of self-loathing.

For what it is so that it can be dismantled. Then we're always going to continue to get the same experiences in our lives, and it's really not that hard to find the underlying lie that you have. Once you find that thought, all of the children thoughts of it also are dismantled. But until you find that deep seated core belief about yourself, even if you do change some of the surface negative thoughts, there is never a permanent healing.

Since I hurt people, I can't have money since I hurt people. Anything done by me creatively is going to be a threat to others. Since I hurt people dot, dot, dot. You can easily find this. You don't need to do anything very complicated except for take out some paper. I like doing it with an actual pen and paper, but if you are averse to using those old analog archaic tools, you can do it electronically and you just write a prompt at the top of the paper.

The prompt I would recommend is The problem with me is, and then just start writing until you either find that you're basically repeating the same thoughts over and over again or until you get to the bottom of the page. Then on another sheet of paper, write the most negative thing about me is, and then just fill up another sheet of paper.

The reason I'll never make it is. Try that one on the next sheet of paper and just fill out the paper. Give yourself a half hour or an hour to do this exercise, and those are probably good enough, those three prompts. The reason I'll never make it is the most negative thing about me is problem with me is they're similar prompts.

And once you have a few pages, just go back down through all those thoughts and just repeat 'em out loud. And notice the response in your body. Your body won't lie to you, like your mind sometimes will. You'll get a visceral and so put a check by that one, the ones that you get that little mm. Put the check by it.

And you go through those lists of thoughts and then the ones with the check, you can even make an your own a separate list of those thoughts. Don't worry, you're not gonna make things worse by doing this, then you're gonna work with each of those thoughts. So let's say that you have the thoughts. I'm not good enough.

I'm not smart enough. Nobody loves me. Take each one of those thoughts and write the reason, and then you write the thought. So, the reason I'm not good enough is, and that's your new prompt, and you'll write a bunch of thoughts and then you'll take the next thought. The reason no one likes me is, and you'll write those thoughts.

You're asking for another layer of the onion to be peeled to see if there's something underneath that. A lot of times what you'll notice as you look over those thoughts is that they're not really going deeper. They're just explaining the thought. So that's an indicator. Okay. That was probably a, a core belief.

But sometimes you'll notice something underneath that like I am the antichrist. Okay, that's probably a good one. I am pure evil itself. Okay, that's a good one. Let's write that down. And these are thoughts that you may never have wanted to look at, just because even verbalizing them is too exposing. But that's the point of this.

Even if your core belief is I am the antichrist, even if that's your core belief, it's a lie. Even if your core belief is, I hurt people. No, that's a lie. If your core belief is, I'm just not good enough, maybe that's the bottom line. I'm just not good enough. That's a lie. It's a lie. So it's safe for you to look at the lie, because if you're not looking at the lie, you can't heal the lie.

You can't dismantle the lie. If you're avoiding the lie. If you're running away from the lie because it's just too painful to look at, then that lie gets to run your life still. It's worth taking some time to uncover these beliefs, to peel back this onion and take a real clear look. This is the kind of nonsense garbage that is running my life.

And it doesn't matter where you picked it up. It doesn't matter how you made that decision about yourself. None of that matters. The only thing that matters is that you're uncovering it so that you can let it go. You have to ask yourself, do I wanna keep this thought? The kneejerk response is, well, of course I don't wanna keep it, but that's not necessarily true.

You can go a little deeper and say, the payoffs for having this thought are, and then you write those down. Maybe you have the idea of I am the antichrist. The payoff is that you have a secret power or that nobody can really hurt you because you're so evil. You can destroy them, or whatever the payoffs are.

That you don't wanna give up. This thought that the ego keeps giving you gifts, presence in order to keep this thought alive. Maybe you have a belief that if you give up this thought that you'll be nothing, whatever it is, learn how to write these things down stream of consciousness without editing.

That's a very powerful tool to be able to do. You just keep writing and writing and writing. Eventually you're gonna get to some bottom line core beliefs, and when you do and you, especially if you've listed some of those payoffs, you can ask yourself, do am I willing to give up this payoff? Just ask yourself, yes I am.

I would rather give up this payoff and give up this thought so that I can be happy. If that's the case, you don't have to worry about how to get rid of it. All you have to do is be willing for it to be taken from you. And your own higher self, whatever you call it. And it doesn't matter. It's not picky.

It's not picky. If you say, God, that's great. If you say goddess, that's fine. My own higher intuition, whatever, it's, it doesn't matter. Shaina, goddess, holy Spirit, God, whatever your understanding of that higher power is, it's intelligent, but it also respects your free will. Even though you've been unconsciously keeping this thought alive, it's still your right to do that.

And so once you've brought this up to the surface and you say, I do not wanna keep this anymore, you can ask that it be removed and it will be. Now, it may be a process, it may not happen overnight. Like I said, with mine, it started to shatter. It started to come undone. It started to unravel before me, but it didn't happen overnight.

It could never have the same power over me as it did before, because I already saw the man behind the curtain. I already saw it for what it was. I'm never going to be able to be convinced that I hurt people again because I know I don't. And that if somebody is hurt by me, it was never my intention and it was never anything other than any other kind of hurt that happens in normal human interactions.

I don't have the superpower of being harmful and with me, it was never that I hurt people on purpose. It was that my very presence was just dangerous to be around. So I would isolate a lot. I don't do that anymore 'cause I know it's not true. I know it's not true. Occasionally there's a little white noise behind that.

I'll say, remember, you're a danger, but it doesn't have any power over me. So once you get all of these thoughts, pair 'em down to the biggies, start to compose some ideas to combat them, start to flip them. 'cause like I said, even though you've asked that these be removed when you're out and about in the world, the habit will still be there.

It takes work to undo habits, especially habits of thought. Imagine if you've tried to quit biting your nails or quit smoking. It's a lot easier said than done sometimes. And the same thing goes with the habit of hating yourself.

You didn't mean to get into that habit, you learned it by rote. It's good to have an arsenal of flipped thoughts to combat those. Uncovered thoughts such as I am good enough, I'm perfect as I was created. I am a source of joy and pleasure for everybody around me. I bring only good to the world. I'm capable.

I'm smart enough. I'm an extension of infinite intelligence itself. I have the same genius energy as everybody else does, and my unique form of genius is perfect for me. Those kinds of thoughts. You just remind yourself of that in the moment when you start to think, oh yeah, I'm not smart enough. You see?

Because as you do these processes, those old habits that you didn't even notice, that you had become apparent to you, and then it's up to you to say, Uhuh, I already gave this up. I'm not starting this again. I quit this. I'm a non-smoker. I'm a non-self loath. And what you can do is when you do this process, and you can do this process several times, you know there's no limit to it, but when you do it, it's good to pair it down so that you have maybe five, 10 thoughts that you memorize, that you can combat those habits with in the moment.

It's not just positive affirmations. It's a tool that you're using to break the habit of hating yourself. To break the habit of joining in the conspiracy of the ego. There's no rule that you have to join in with everybody else's self-loathing. In fact, when you stop joining in with everybody's self-loathing, I.

Everything starts to feel better and things start working out for you, but your relationships do need to change because a lot of that talk and chatter that you're used to having with people is no longer appropriate for you, and you have to learn how to give it up. You have to learn how to give up your own self hatred.

And when you give up your own self hatred, self-hatred, then you start giving up your condemnation of others because you recognize it for what it is, a symptom of their own self-loathing. In their own unhealed minds, and it's not your responsibility to heal them. It's not your responsibility to show them because until they're ready, they'll perceive that as an attack, and their ego will do everything it can to make you the problem.

So it's usually a good idea when you notice other people's self-loathing that you keep it to yourself because it's not going to help them for you to tell them what they're doing unless they ask you for help. Your job is to work on your own self and give up that habit of self hatred. Recognize it for what it is, and let it go, and then have at your disposal a few thoughts.

You can combat that ego with each and every time because it can't stand up to scrutiny. Lies cannot stand up to scrutiny ever, and your ego's big job is to constantly reinforce lies. If you scrutinize those lies, they are obliterated and it has no power over you. You just have to stay on track. You have to stay on purpose, and you will, once you make that commitment that I'm not gonna hate myself anymore.

I'm not doing this, I'm going to be the soul that I was created to be. I am going to shine perfectly, and anything that stands in the way of that shining, I am no longer participating in. Then it's just part of your journey. As you notice those old habits surface to counter them. If you're not perfect at it, that's fine because the eagle will use that to get you back into a self-loathing.

Oh, well, you thought negatively about yourself. See, you're not gonna fall for that. Take some time, do this this week. If you are looking forward to having some peace in your life, just investigate, take an hour, run through those simple processes where you start to uncover those thoughts about yourself.

When you get to the bottom of some of those thoughts, ask yourself if you're willing to let go of those payoffs. And if you are, ask that higher power to take them from you. And once you have. Allowed that higher power to take those thoughts from you. Then have some counter thoughts to respond with while you're going about your life as those old habitual ideas of self-loathing present themselves to you, and you can just each and every time counter it with a new inspired truth.

Scrutinize your thinking and your lies about yourself will shrivel up and die before your eyes, and it's a beautiful thing. You are going to start to have a blossoming forth that you didn't have before because you were afraid. You were afraid to be yourself. You were afraid to blossom forth before.

Because you believed these thoughts about yourself, which are not true regardless of what you've done. By the way, regardless of what you've done, you see that's how the ego will solidify these lies. The ego's going to try to prove to you by looking back over your life and say, remember this bad decision.

Remember that stupid thing you did? Remember that stupid thing you did, and you just have to remind yourself, I'm not bound by my mistakes. Those mistakes were a product of a lie. Since now the lie is gone, those mistakes and the consequences of those mistakes are now gone as well. It's not to say that you don't hold yourself accountable and clean up your messes.

Of course you do, but it's easier to clean up your messes when you recognize that they were born out of a lie to begin with, and that you no longer believe those things. You no longer believe those things. You can clean up your mess. You can have accountability for any actions that you've taken in the past that were not so great.

And it's easier to do that when you realize that the reason why you did those things were because you believed something erroneous about yourself that you no longer believe and you're willing to let go of. It's not about avoiding accountability, but understanding what accountability truly is. So when your ego tries to use your past against you in order to reinforce these lies about yourself, be ready for it.

Don't put up with it. Counter each and every one with one of those new thoughts that you've come up with. I am good enough. I'm perfect. The way God created me, everything that I do is an extension of the infinites love. I am an extension of the infinites love. Remember the ego's got its own bizarre sense of self preservation, but it has no life force 'cause it's not a real thing.

Once you start to unravel the ego and not take the bait, it starts to die. It starts to go into remission, and then it becomes just white noise that you don't pay attention to anymore. It no longer has the power to motivate you. You can do this. It's actually a fun process. I know it sounds really serious, but it's actually a fun process to realize that the ego's no big deal and that it doesn't have any power over you.

You no longer have to be beholden to those lies about yourself that you weren't even aware existed. Thank you so much for spending some time with me today. I so appreciate you. Until next time, blessed be.